Longing for something can be both pleasant and uncomfortable. Looking forward to something you know for sure will happen is really sweet. But longing for something that feels impossible to achieve is something else.

Longing for the impossible

When you long for something very intensely it can strengthen the awareness that you are not where you would like to be right now. Perhaps you also have a previous experience of trying to achieve that something that you long for without success. The memory of having failed in the past can feel upsetting in a way that makes the bad feeling contaminate that very thing you really long for. It may feel impossible before you even try.

The thing that happens to your energy in that case is that you shift your focus from the wonderful thing you long for to what you want to avoid. Your focus is now instead on “being prepared for any and all negative consequences” and your frequency shifts from desire to fear. According to the law of attraction the fact that you feel uncomfortable when you think about what you long for is an indication that you are focusing on the wrong thing.

What is unattainable?

To a great extent it is we ourselves that set the limit for what is possible and not.

Some make it a lifestyle to live cautiously and settle for what feels safe and given. Maybe they have been told that it’s foolish to expect that you can do or get what you want. Or maybe they feel that they have failed really bad in some way in their past, and are afraid that something similar will happen again. Maybe that made them come to the conclusion that it’s better to be a bit dissatisfied than to risk a true disappointment again.

Others fail again and again and still don’t stop trying. Many of those who have come up with great inventions belong in this group. From the outside they may seem a little crazy, but I think it’s mostly about how you look at failure. And of course on how strong the desire to succeed is.

Then there are those who do what should be unattainable. Like the bumblebees. Or Eddie the Eagle. 🙂 There is nothing at all that indicates that they should be able to fly, but they do it anyway.

Longing for the impossible

Dare to fail

One might think that it is optimal to be self-critical. That makes you a humble and good person, right? It depends, I would say. People that often focus on what they experience as wrong with themselves have their focus on what is bad. In that case you are also usually pretty good at seeing obstacles and holding yourself back. If you are overly self-critical you may also have a tendency to magnify what you perceive as failures. Which makes it easy to end up in a situation where you at any cost want to avoid to make things worse. Which in turn is an efficient way to prevent yourself from going after what you truly want. It feels really unnecessary to long for something that you conclude probably is impossible to achieve anyway.

If this feels true to you it can be relevant to consider that it’s actually possible to influence the rules about what is a failure and not. It may also be worth considering where the tough rules come from. Who says it’s so bad to fail? Maybe you picked them up from other people and then just adopted them as “truths”?

There are also several sayings on this topic. But it’s really up to you to decide what is possible or impossible in your life.

Who gets to decide the rules?

You can spend an entire lifetime trying to live up to rules you don’t even know where they come from if you want to. And let someone else decide what is possible and not. Or you can consider what you yourself think about it. In this process our feelings can be of great help. If we feel irritated when we try to do things “the right way”, it may indicate that we are trying to live by someone else’s values. And that those values actually clash with what we really long for and and think is important. Fear of failure or of disappointing someone else can kill any dream. But consider this before you decide that you are longing for something that is impossible. Both a failure and a non-attempt generate exactly the same thing: nothing.

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