Good habits and bad habits are tiny decisions that we make without really noticing it. It happens automatically. Doing as you usually do is therefore much easier than stopping and reflecting on why you do the things you do.
Good habits and bad habits
About 40 percent of the decisions we make in a day are based on old habits. There is a comfort in habits that is appealing and of course they also save time! Most people probably think, for example, that it makes life a bit easier if you have the same morning routine every day.
The downside of habits is obviously the bad habits. For example if you have gotten used to eating something unhealthy every time you watch TV at nigth. That will cause your brain to remind you that you ought to want something every time you sit down in your TV couch. If you are in a situation where you want to change such behavior, it can be good not to take the brain’s reminders as a confirmation that you are a bad and lost person. Slamming yourself down is not a good start to a change. In that case, try instead to zoom out and create some distance to the situation. The reminder comes because your brain wants to help. Thank your brain for the reminder and consideration but then explain why you want to do it differently this time.
Is life getting more fun?
It can be hard to change habits, but it does not have to be! I would say that the big question you need to ask yourself is this:
Do you think your life will feel better after you have changed this thing, or do you think it will be harder / sadder / worse?
Because it’s really hard to motivate yourself to make a change if you both think that the change is difficult and also have a negative expectation of how it will feel when you are done.
It may sound obvious that you should not have a “negative goal”, but it is more common than you would think. And it is not certain that you are aware of it. Take, for example, the ambition to “start exercising regularly” with the goal of “getting fit”. On some level, you know that it will mean that you need to continue exercising all the time even when you have reached the finish line. If you really dislike the training you have spent a long time to persuade yourself to begin with, it is definitely not an attractive goal. On the contrary. There is a pretty high probability that you will make sure to fail pretty soon so you can get out of it. Which, after all, is the sensibel thing to do. We are not meant to suffer through life.
A goal must feel enticing, and you need to believe that your life will feel better once you get there. You can not just take someone else’s goal and think that you will be motivated by it.
What do you want to achieve? How will it make your life better? Feel free to contact me if you want help finding an inspiring goal. 🙂